¹² I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service. 

나를 능하게 하신 그리스도 예수 우리 주께 내가 감사함은 나를 충성되이 여겨 내게 직분을 맡기심이니

The main frame of the verse is ‘I thank Christ Jesus our Lord that he considered me trustworthy 그리스도 예수 우리 주께 내가 감사함은 나를 충성되이 여기심이니’. The verb for ‘consider’ here is literally ‘to govern’, which ESV translates as ‘to judge’.[1] The word used for ‘trustworthy’ is the same as ‘faithful’.[2] So Christ governed Paul faithful. He judged Paul to be the holder of faith. This is true for believers. Jesus has made this possible by giving me his strength through his death on the cross. The strength is therefore not just an ordinary kind of getting by. Rather it is the strength to overcome death and be resurrected!

As a marker of possessing of such strength, Christ has appointed me to preach the gospel through my everyday living. So, Christ’s trust in me is grounded on the strength He has given. Why am I equalling myself to Paul? Because he has said, ‘Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ’ (1 Cor 11:1). So this is not someone else’s story far away, but of mine. It is how the Kingdom operates: governing through someone trivial like me because of Christ’s strength.       

¹³ Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. 

내가 전에는 훼방자요 핍박자요 포행자이었으나 도리어 긍휼을 입은 것은 내가 믿지 아니할 때에 알지 못하고 행하였음이라

What a contradiction! In reality, when I am treated well, my thoughts go back and search for something I have done which even faintly must deserve such treatments. Because I am utterly uncomfortable with the thought of being ‘indebted’ to anyone deep in my mind, if I find anything that earns me such good treatment then I am comforted, ‘Ah, that must be it’.

But at least as far as Christ’s treatment of me is concerned, I should be made ‘uncomfortable’ and ‘disturbed’ to realise the truth that I have nothing of my own that earns me Christ’s strength or his judgment of me being faithful. I have no record of doing anything to deserve it. The search says, ‘Nothing found’! Nor was it because Christ saw some ‘potential’ in me, as some believe.[3] Rather it had to be for ‘nothing’, neither for the sake of any grounds in the past nor potential in the future. It had to be mercy, and mercy alone, Christ our God having pity on me. I bet this is how it came about even with Abraham too!  

¹⁴ The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.

우리 주의 은혜가 그리스도 예수 안에 있는 믿음과 사랑과 함께 넘치도록 풍성하였도다

Even more amazing thing is, once Christ so decides that I am faithful, He does not give me a doze of his strength little by little. He pours it our on me, the full strength, the whole package, not withholding anything from me. If I don’t believe that is what it takes for me to become a believer from an unbeliever, I am underestimating the gravity of my rebelliousness. I hope I do not mistaken neither the power of God nor my rebelliousness.      

Lord God, I stand once again before your almightiness. You are almighty in that you can give all that you have to a trivial being like me, in that you pour out everything that belongs to you to a unholy rebel like me, whose every inclination is against you. I once belonged to death but you have moved me to life. Lord, the more I get to know the depth of my iniquity, let me become uncomfortable and disturbed that I really do not deserve this faith you sow in me. But at the same time let me rejoice and praise you that I have the faith you give despite what I am and all because who YOU are. You are the faithful Father who knows that I need this faith to come to you and live. Let me cherish this faith, not by burying it under the ground, but by living it, thinking it and acting it. Give me the strength to do this today.     

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[1] ἡγέομαι (hēgeomai) ‘to govern’ (G2233) to be governor, procurator

[2] πιστός (pistos) ‘faithful’ (G4103) faithful, trustworthy, reliable, believing

[3] Arminianism and the deriving denominations thereof believe that God chooses his people on the grounds of their future faith. Point 1, Remonstrance assertion, Dort of Synod, 1618-19.

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Image: The vision of the Lord directing Abraham to count the stars, woodcut by Julius Schnorr von Carolsfeld from a 1860 Bible in Pictures edition.